A Truly Spooky Story With Real Scares

Hello everyone! Happy "Sunday After Halloween" Day! Well, happy is the wrong word. Why? Because I'm about to share "A Truly Spooky Story With Real Scares" (ATSSWRS for short) to spook you so hard you might never feel non-spooked again. Ready to start? No? Too scared to keep reading? Too bad, because - plot twist - this spooky story started THE MOMENT YOU WERE BORN. That was a lie, it's actually about to start in the next paragraph, but I'm sure that pre-mature spooking was so gripping you are unable to stop reading. That was my plan all along.

Now, on Halloween this year, I was sitting at my kitchen table. It was getting late outside, and it was raining hard. There was also thunder too. I carved a spooky pumpkin the day before, whose face was etched with fear and suffering - the kind of suffering that happens when there is a burning inside of you. Not an emotional passionate burning, but a literal hot hurting burn (maybe a little overboard spooky, but it is important foreshadowing). As I went to insert a candle into its pumpkin skull, I TURNED THE LIGHTER SIDEWAYS. In an instant, my life changed. The flame licked my finger and the pumpkin took its revenge. My thumb was in mild pain for longer than FOUR MINUTES.

Scared? No - you're horrified so hard that you might have even pooped your pants. Was it the pumpkin? A ghost? Or just plain dumb luck? YOU MIGHT NEVER KNOW. But what's the truly horrifying part of this story? IT COULD JUST AS EASILY HAPPEN TO YOU (THUNDER STRIKES). THIS IS A TRUE STORY, and it didn't even happen to a friend of a friend of mine.

Scared? You should be. After all, it is "Sunday After Halloween" day!
(EVIL LAUGHTER THEN OUTRO MUSIC)